Posts Tagged ‘Bad Movies’

Behold the Wonder That is Banglar King Kong!

Thursday, March 26th, 2015

Did you ever say to yourself “You know what King Kong needs? Worse special effects, slapstick humor, stock footage, and singing!”

Then Banglar King Kong is for you!

High points:

  • A Kong whose fingers seem incapable of flexing.
  • Soldiers that don’t know how to hold rifles facing off against savage tribesmen who don’t know how to hold spears.
  • Kong tearing apart a city that’s obviously made of cardboard boxes.
  • A Bangladeshi Fay Wray who Kong must have kept extremely well-fed during her captivity.
  • Digital fire that has to be seen to not be believed.
  • In short, it makes every previous version of King Kong (including the Dino De Laurentiis version) look great by comparison…

    The Silliest Horror Movie Poster I’ve Seen All Week

    Tuesday, October 28th, 2014

    Noted without comment…

    Yes, there’s a trailer.

    Looks like they were aiming for a cross between 80s T&A horror films and direct to SyFy…

    Library Additions: Screenplays for Manos: The Hands of Fate, Plan 9 From Outer Space, and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

    Tuesday, September 9th, 2014

    I mentioned the Kickstarter previously, and my package of “Alternate Classics of Filmdom” was waiting for me when I got back from London.

  • Mareth, Glenville Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Alternate Histories, 2014. First edition small trim sized chapbook, a Fine copy, new and unread. Transcribed script for the movie Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
  • Warren, Harold P. “Manos” The Hands of Fate. Alternate Histories, 2014. First edition small trim sized chapbook, a Fine copy, new and unread. Transcribed script for the movie Manos: The Hands of Fate.
  • Wood, Edward D. Plan 9 From Outer Space. Alternate Histories, 2014. First edition small trim sized chapbook, a Fine copy, new and unread. Transcribed script for the movie Plan 9 From Outer Space.

    Manos Plan 9 Santa

  • All bought for $20 from the Kickstarter. My only complaint is that the font size is ridiculously small…

    Finally, Your Own Screenplay for Manos: The Hands of Fate!

    Thursday, June 26th, 2014

    Q: Have you ever wanted to own the screenplay to Manos: The Hands of Fate?

    A: No, it’s one of the worst movies of all–

    Q: Of course you have! Now, for the low price of $8, that script can be yours!

    A: $8 seems a little steep for–

    Q: Put on your own staged plays of Manos! Invite the neighbors!

    A: They’d stone me.

    Q: But that’s not all! For $20, you can get the scripts for Plan 9 From Outer Space and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians!

    A: Yuck! It’s like a trifecta of suck! I’d rather–

    Q: Of course you want them all! So get your money in to the Kickstarter campaign today!

    (Hat tip: SF Signal.)

    Related: “How Plan 9 From Outer Space earned, and lost, the title of worst movie of all time”.

    Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda

    Sunday, June 22nd, 2014

    The auteurs of The Asylum are Roger Cormen is at it again. Are you ready for Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda?

    Coming August 2nd to (of course) The SyFy Channel.

    At this point I’m thinking I ought to file a trademark for my Slothacconda idea…

    2015 To Be Filled With Blockbuster Franchise Sequels

    Monday, May 5th, 2014

    There’s lots of news about staggeringly successful, critically acclaimed movie franchise having new installments out in 2015.

  • Star Wars Episode VII will come out December 18, 2015.
  • Avengers: Age of Ultron comes out May 1, 2015.
  • Sharknado 3
  • What, you’re saying the words “staggeringly successful,” “critically acclaimed” and “franchise” don’t apply to Sharknado?

    All I have to say about that is: I had a great deal more fun watching Sharknado than I did Attack of the Clones.

    In other Sharknado-related news, The Asylum is crowd-funding a scene in Sharknado 2: The Second One. Personally, I think $50,000 for a single scene is more than a bit high. Give The Asylum’s previous track record, with that much money I would expect them to make an entire film…

    My Interview With The Writer of Mega Shark Vs. Mecha Shark

    Friday, January 3rd, 2014

    Knowing of my keen interest in The Asylum’s work in the shark genre in general, and the forthcoming Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark in specific, SF Signal’s John DeNardo arranged for me to interview the writer of that film, Jose Prendes.

    Now the interview has been published. Not only did Prendes write Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark, he also wrote the novel (I kid you not) Sharcano.

    For some unfathomable reason, Amazon doesn’t seem to have it for pre-prder yet, but you can find more information from the publisher here. There’s also a Facebook page.

    Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark

    Friday, December 6th, 2013

    Thanks to the keen eye of SF Signal’s John DeNardo, we have word that the auteurs at The Asylum or offering their homage to Terror of MechaGodzilla: Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark.

    It looks like pretty much everything we’ve come to expect from The Asylum…

    Sharknado 2: The Sharknadoing

    Wednesday, July 17th, 2013

    Our short national nightmare is finally over! (Or, alternately, continues.)

    There will be a sequel to Sharknado.

    Set in New York City.

    Since John DeNardo at SF Signal has dubbed me “The Official Sharknado News Source,” I feel that I would be remiss in not mentioning it.

    I’m going to go ahead and predict right now that it will feature one scene with an enraged Alec Baldwin pummeling a shark to death with his fists.

    Oh, they also want Johnny Depp to star in it. Good luck with that…

    Interview with the Writer of Sharknado

    Thursday, July 11th, 2013

    Three posts in two days about Sharknado? Is this ultra-crappy SyFy monster movie really worth that much attention?

    Yes. Yes it is.

    But more importantly, this interview with the writer of Sharknado is all kinds of awesome.

    Especially this:

    “As anyone would expect, the tornadoes suck up thousands of sharks. This all just seems like common sense to me.”

    And this:

    “If you were a shark and you found yourself flying through the air, wouldn’t you keep biting? I think you’d be pretty pissed about being plucked out of your nice familiar ocean where you’re king of the predators, and you’d probably take it out on whoever got in your way. Honestly, I don’t understand why people are so perplexed by this concept. The logic is undeniable.”

    Try to work “the logic is undeniable” into your next conversation.

    Oh, the writer, Thunder Levin (his real name) is also responsible for Atlantic Rim. Really, the dogged dedication behind their work has to elevate the crew at The Asylum from “shameless Z-grade movie ripoff artists” to “Sublime ongoing performance art project”…