Posts Tagged ‘Satan’

My DVD Player is POSSESSED BY SATAN!

Wednesday, October 27th, 2010

I woke up around 4 AM this morning to the sound of Tracey Chapman’s “Change” playing in the next room. It turns out the DVD player turned itself on, and since that’s the song HBO uses on the ad at the beginning of Disc One of Season 3 of The Wire that was in the player, that’s what I heard.

As for why my DVD player came on, since it’s the Halloween season, I believe it’s one of the following three explanations:

  1. My DVD player is possessed by the Devil himself, AKA Lucifer, the Great Beast, the Princes of Lies, the Angel of the Abyss, Leviathan the fleeing serpent, the one and only Satan, Prince of Darkness.
  2. A poltergeist turned it on.
  3. The power went off, and the DVD player was on “soft” power off, i.e. through the remote, and not with the power button on the player itself in the off position, and when the power came on it started playing automatically. This would also explain why the clock on my microwave had been reset and the light on my garage door opener was on.

Naturally, I’m going to go with the Satan explanation due to sheer preponderance of scientific plausibility. I mean really, who else would want to wake me from a sound sleep but Satan? (And of course I have to assume he reset the microwave and garage door light as well. Why else would he be known as the Great Deceiver? Got to watch him all the time…)