Posts Tagged ‘writing’

The Onion on Book Signings

Saturday, April 16th, 2011

From the so-true-it-hurts category: “Author Francine Massey told reporters that she does her absolute best for everyone who comes out to see her, whether it’s just three people or a much larger crowd of nine people.”

Back when I would have Nova Express issue release parties at Adventures in Crime & Space, there were times when three people would have been an improvement…

(Hat tip: SF Signal)

Generation Eloi Passes on the H. G. Wells Story Competition

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

Contest Judge: Here’s an H. G. Wells writing contest that will pay you £1,000 if you win.

Writers: All right! Sign me up!

Contest Judge: But there’s a catch.

Writers: What?

Contest Judge: You have to write your story out by hand.

Writers: Pass.

No way could I enter this contest; their attempts to judge my entry would no doubt come out something like this:

(Hat tip: Michael Walsh’s Facebook feed. The “Generation Eloi” tag comes from the afterword to Steven R. Boyett’s Elegey Beach, which I hope to have a review of sometime in the near future.)

The Economics of Writing (sucks)

Thursday, November 12th, 2009

John Scalzi on a writer’s income, or rather lack thereof.

Most of these are more true than not. I’m probably in a better position than most, because:

  • I have a day job, and have had a day job of one sort or another (with occasional gaps as long as nine months) for the entirety of my adult life.

  • I’m a cheap bastard. Save my bookshelves, just about every piece of furniture I’ve added to my house was someone else’s castoff, so my house resembles that distinctive decorating style known as “Early College Student.” My TV is an old non-HD hand-me-down. My phone is the cheapest piece-of-crap Verizon had five years ago (and I’ve since replaced it with a used copy of the same model bought cheap off eBay); I suspect Fisher-Price now sells a phone with more functions. It only took me five years to decide that I could finally afford to buy a $10 spoon rest. (You get the idea.)
  • I’m paranoid enough to always keep a good chunk of money in the bank for emergencies. (That’s also why I paid off all the bills I wracked up in my 20s in my early 30s.) Given the additional uncertainties here in the era of Hope and Change, I’ve recently doubled that amount. As former Intel Chairman Andy Grove was wont to say, “Only the paranoid survive.”

I would mention that my health has generally been pretty robust (certainly nothing like the host of maladies that, say, poor George Alec Effinger suffered), but that’s just asking The Giant Frying Pan of Fate to whack you upside the head for tempting it so. So (*cough*) I guess (*wheeze*) I won’t. (*Uh-oh*.)

Anyway, I’m doing a lot better than some, but I’m always looking out for ways to add to my financial cushion, the better to keep the wolves a few steps further from my door. A working spouse would be nice. If you’re an attractive single female, the line forms to the right. (No shoving and, as always, please, no wagering.)

By the way, on a completely unrelated note, I’ve added a Paypal donation button to this page…