Or rather, a website devoted to same.
Archive for the ‘Food’ Category
Funny Looking Food
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010Dear Austin Restaurateurs: What the hell is wrong with you?
Wednesday, July 7th, 2010So Dwight and I were discussing possible venues for the next Saturday Dining Conspiracy. Having been burned in the past by places that closed before we got there, we always try to call ahead to make sure they’re open. Today showed at least one obstacle standing between several Austin Restaurateurs and profit: their inability to competently answer a phone call.
- First a call to a place called Flamin’ Grill & Kebob House (which I had a coupon for) in Round Rock: “Hello?” answers the voice at the other in a dead monotone. No “Flamin’ Grill and Kebob House, how can I help you?” Not even “Flaimin Grill.” So I ask if this is, in fact, “Flamin’ Grill & Kebob House.” “Yes,” he answered in a voice that clearly implied I was imposing on his time, and that he would prefer to be anywhere else at that moment rather than answering a restaurant’s phone. With that kind of attitude toward the business, we crossed them off the list.
- Next up: Ilse’s Kitchen, a German Restaurant out in Spicewood. The phone rings ten times (despite it being within the specified business hours), then something like a fax machine pics up, evidently waiting for you to start a fax; no message, no beep, nothing.
- Third try: Your Mom’s Burger Bar. Calling the number listed on their website (474-MOMS) brings up a message saying that “this NXP semiconductor number is no longer in service.”.
Look, I know that telephones are musty old 20th century technology, but is it too much to ask that: A.) The phone number on your own website is correct, and that B.) You answer it when it rings in a (at the minimum) polite manner? Is that just too much to ask of you?
So I Need to Drink MORE Diet Dr Pepper?
Monday, June 28th, 2010According to this study, people should consume 500 mg of caffeine a day (which works out to about five cups of coffee a day) to help ward off Alzheimer’s.
My caffeine delivery vehicle of choice is Diet Dr Pepper, which contains (according to this chart) 41 mg of caffeine. Now I’m clearly walking in the realm of the “caffeine achiever,” as I regularly down 6-7 cans of Diet Dr Pepper a day. However, by this new measure, I’m not getting enough caffeine, and should be downing a minimum of 12 cans a day.
I’m willing to give it a try, but I’m not sure I can do that without acting like this guy:
Get Double Down
Friday, April 23rd, 2010To celebrate Earth Day, probably the second-fakest of all fake holidays (behind Kwanzaa), I reached out for the infamous KFC Double Down, the only food brave enough to ask the question “How can I possibly make a fried chicken sandwich less healthy?” and boldly answer “By replacing the buns with fried chicken!”
Behold the KFC Double-Down, ye healthy, and despair!
The verdict? It’s OK, but laudable political incorrectness aside, it didn’t knock me out. The chicken-breasts-as-bun concept works pretty well, but I thought the chicken itself was a little dry (which is why I tend to prefer dark meat over white), and I prefer my cheese fully (rather than partially) melted. And if I’m going to eat something bad for me, I’m probably going to get a big juicy burger or pick up some Popeye’s extra spicy.
Also, I would like to make one tiny correction to Jay Lake’s otherwise fine review (“The Double Down lurking in its lair, like a rabid weasel after a night huffing duct sealant with disbarred sorority sisters”): Because the chicken breasts are breaded, they aren’t technically carb-free.
(By the way, the “I reached out” bit in the opening sentence is a homage to the Houston Chronicle‘s “Drive-Thru Gourmet” Ken Hoffman. Not only does Hoffman do a swell job in the gig, the very idea of having a Drive-thru Gourmet is inspired, and a great public service. After all, for every Chronicle reader that has a chance to eat at, say Artista, there are probably 2,000 who eat at KFC.
Oh, and Hoffman has reviewed the Double Down as well. )