Posts Tagged ‘Pope’

High Concept

Thursday, May 2nd, 2013

“He’s the Pope. He’s the Ex-Pope. They’re private detectives.”

Benny: “It will take a miracle to solve this case!”

Francis: “Good thing they called us in!”

Pope and Pope, Thursdays at 8, on Fox!”

Alternately, Benedict XVI was secretly studying forensic pathology in his spare time, and resigned to follow his true calling, in which case it gets named CSI: Vatican City.

I could have gone with the “Popes by day, superheros by night!” angle, but you don’t want to strain plausibility.

Random Thoughts on the Naming of a New Pope

Wednesday, March 13th, 2013

Because I wasn’t really in a position to post them to Twitter when Argentine Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio was named Pope Francis:

  • “Before we name a new pope, here’s a performance by the Solid Pope Dancers.”
  • I can hardly wait to see if my 1000-1 longshot bet of Father Guido Sarducci being named #pope pays off!
  • The Pope would have made it to the balcony earlier but he got lost and had to ask a janitor for directions.
  • In an unexpected twist, Ralph Nader has been named pope. Al Gore demands a recount.
  • In a shocking development, Bootsy Collins has been named pope. (One Church Under A Groove)
  • John Shaftman named pope. Who’s the Black Pontiff who’s the sex machine for all the chicks? POPE SHAFT!
  • It turns out that John Paul II is still pope, and the last nine years has all been a dream sequence.
  • LeBron James named pope. “I’m taking my talents to Vatican City.” Grave blow to Miami Heat’s repeat chances.
  • Like Republicans, Catholics evidently like to elect the guy who came in second last time.
  • “There’s a light…over at the Vatican place…”
  • “Don’t cry for me Vatican City.”
  • A Jesuit Pope? Dan Brown must be racing to his computer right now.
  • On the non-snarky side, here’s a video of Pope Francis making his first appearance: