Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Classical Allusions: Thermostat Edition

Thursday, June 20th, 2013

Actual discussion with female co-worker:

Her: It’s so cold!
Me: (Looking at handy digital thermostat above my desk) It’s a balmy 73.4 degrees.
Her: I keep my apartment at 79.
Me: There’s just no pleasing those of you who hail from the realms of Tartarus.

West Explosion: Small Mercies

Thursday, April 18th, 2013

When I went to bed, they were estimating 45-60 deaths, but now the estimates are down to 5-15. Which is something.

Video footage of the aftermath:

The explosion evidently registered 2.1 on the Richter scale…

XKCD’s Time

Sunday, March 31st, 2013

It’s easy to assume that everyone in the world follows Randall Munroe’s geeky online stickman webcomic XKCD, since it seems all my friends do. For those that don’t, last Monday he put up a strip called “Time.” This strip, like his uber-large “Click-and-Drag”, plays with the conventions of the form. “Time” started out with a static, non-gag image with the hover-over label “wait for it.” Since then, he’s updated the image every half-hour to an hour, even though he’s done new strips on the usual M-W-F schedule. If you follow the images in order, “Time” shows two people (which XKCD devotees have dubbed “Cueball” and “Megan”) building a sand castle.

Here’s an animated gif of the images so far:

Here’s a quicker version, which you can also step through, speed up, slow down, etc.

Here’s the explanation page for it, as well as its own Wikia. We now have a real-life version of those people obsessively tracking online image snippets from Pattern Recognition, except we actually know who they’re from.

The obvious metaphor is how time continues to flow and things change when you’re not watching.

As of this writing, the images are still being updated. Munroe could keep updating that one comic for a long, long, er, time, especially if he decreases the update rate.

Conceivably, “Time” could be a long-running conceptual art project and keep updating for the rest of our lives, and beyond, like that German church playing John Cage’s “As Slowly as Possibly” for 629 years…

Random Thoughts on the Naming of a New Pope

Wednesday, March 13th, 2013

Because I wasn’t really in a position to post them to Twitter when Argentine Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio was named Pope Francis:

  • “Before we name a new pope, here’s a performance by the Solid Pope Dancers.”
  • I can hardly wait to see if my 1000-1 longshot bet of Father Guido Sarducci being named #pope pays off!
  • The Pope would have made it to the balcony earlier but he got lost and had to ask a janitor for directions.
  • In an unexpected twist, Ralph Nader has been named pope. Al Gore demands a recount.
  • In a shocking development, Bootsy Collins has been named pope. (One Church Under A Groove)
  • John Shaftman named pope. Who’s the Black Pontiff who’s the sex machine for all the chicks? POPE SHAFT!
  • It turns out that John Paul II is still pope, and the last nine years has all been a dream sequence.
  • LeBron James named pope. “I’m taking my talents to Vatican City.” Grave blow to Miami Heat’s repeat chances.
  • Like Republicans, Catholics evidently like to elect the guy who came in second last time.
  • “There’s a light…over at the Vatican place…”
  • “Don’t cry for me Vatican City.”
  • A Jesuit Pope? Dan Brown must be racing to his computer right now.
  • On the non-snarky side, here’s a video of Pope Francis making his first appearance:

    Shoegazer Sunday: Whipped Cream’s “Observatory Crest”

    Sunday, January 20th, 2013

    A Swedish shoegazer cover of a Captain Beefheart sing? Check.

    We’re Experiencing Technical Difficulties. Please Stand By.

    Friday, December 28th, 2012

    Power outage begets dead cable modem begets having to drive to the Time Warner building to get a replacement. So don’t expect much in the way of blogging today…

    Godzilla Christmas Tree

    Tuesday, December 25th, 2012

    The search for the coolest Christmas tree is officially over. You’re never going to beat the giant, fire-breathing Godzilla Christmas tree of Aqua City Odaiba shopping mall in Tokyo.

    Merry Christmas!

    Random Thoughts on Watching Evil of Frankenstein

    Sunday, December 23rd, 2012

    Watching Hammer Film’s 1964 Evil of Frankenstein, several thoughts occurred to me:

  • You would think Baron von Frankenstein would be a little more circumspect about hiring a corpse-snatcher.
  • I wonder why Frankenstein needs two orange fountain drink machines in his lab.
  • “Hey, I’ll just go back to the castle they ran me out of ten years ago! I’m sure there’s no chance they will have looted all my expensive belongings!”
  • “Hey, my enemies are now the mayor and chief of police! I’m sure accusing them of theft couldn’t possibly backfire on me in any way.”
  • A mute, blind beggar women just happens to lead Frankenstein to his frozen monster. If she could speak, I’m sure she’d say her name was “Deus Ex Machine.”
  • Sure, a hypnotist is the obviously the first person you think of for reversing severe brain damage.
  • Somehow the mute, resurrected monster who’s never been spoken to understands every command given by the hypnotist. What a stroke of luck!
  • “There’s no way the monster could possibly misinterpret my vague command!”
  • “There’s no way they could possibly trace back the crime spree of a monster back to the castle he was created in!”
  • After the “incident,” I’m sure the Karlstaad police added “bottles of chloroform” to the list of things not to let people keep in jail.
  • Pretty much every major character in Evil of Frankenstein is an idiot. With the possible exception of the Burgermeister’s wife, who has a pretty sweet gig as bosomy eye-candy.
  • Important Safety Tip: Do not get Frankenstein’s monster drunk. Just not seeing a lot of upside to that brilliant decision.
  • New Lame Excuse Books Catalog Out Soon

    Wednesday, December 12th, 2012

    Drop me an email or comment if you’d like to receive a copy.

    Slamball, ChessBoxing, or Hockey?

    Saturday, December 8th, 2012

    With the NHL lockout looking to drag on indefinitely, America finally has a chance to ditch hockey for another sport.

    So below, find a poll on what should be America’s next great sport:

  • Slamball
  • ChessBoxing
  • Hockey
  • Let your voice be heard! Vote below!

    Which Fringe Sport Should Be More Popular?
      
    pollcode.com free polls