Archive for the ‘weird’ Category

Halloween Scares: Uninvited Guests

Friday, October 4th, 2013

Hey, remember the spider-man of Denver?

In 2008 in Japan, a man found that a homeless woman had been living in his home for almost a year.

Given she was Japanese, I assume she was a very polite, quiet creepy visitor living in his home.

Hey, how much crawlspace do you think there is in your home?

And now, a completely unrelated image:

Alice and the Lizard People

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2013

You’ve probably heard of Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple and the fringe SF book The Temple of My Familiar.

What you may not have heard is that she’s a fan of David icke, he of the shape-shifting lizard people.

And Ms. Walker is evidently a believer:

Earlier I wrote that David Icke reminded me of Malcolm X. I was thinking especially of Malcolm’s fearlessness. A fearlessness that made him seem cold, actually, though we know he wasn’t really. All that love of us that kept driving him to improve our lot; often into quite the wrong direction, but I need not go into that. What I was remembering was how he called our oppressors “blue eyed devils.” Now who could that have been? Well, we see them here in David Icke’s book as the descendants of the reptilian race that landed on our sweet planet the moment they could get a glimpse of it through the mist that used to cover it (before there was a moon). No kidding. Deep breath! Yes, before there was a moon! (Oh, I love the moon; can I keep it? Please?). Anyway, there they came, these space beings (we’re space beings too, of course, not to forget that). But they looked…. different than us. And they were.

They wanted gold and they wanted slaves to mine it for them. Now gosh, who does this remind us of? I only am asking. You do the work. Apparently their own planet needed this metal to continue its, apparently, long life. Credo Mutwa, Zulu shaman – and I am on my knees here in gratitude that he held on long enough to tell us about this – calls them the Chitauri, which has become my favorite word of all time (well, of this time that I’m learning all this): my partner and I go around saying Oh, Chitauri, whenever we get a glimpse of one or two of the Chitauri offspring, aka Illuminati bloodline families and their puppets, on the telly. It’s quite the stress reliever, just knowing what we’re looking at. And I like saying “telly” too, because it sounds so English and David Icke-esque.

It’s an amazing book, HUMAN RACE GET OFF YOUR KNEES, and reading it was the ultimate reading adventure. I felt it was the first time I was able to observe, and mostly imagine and comprehend, the root of the incredible evil that has engulfed our planet. A lot of it is how shall we say: shocking, beyond belief (but not really, if you don’t get too scared), stunning, profound. The deconstruction of language is breathtaking, the interrogation of symbols startling. Magical, in a way. I kept going: Oh, so that’s why…. You will too.

The Reptilian space beings whose hybrid (part human, part reptile) descendants make our lives hell in Paradise were blue eyed devils to Malcolm X, the devil himself to my Christian parents, who never talked about eye color, which I think was not only prudent but wise, although they seemed clear enough about his sex, and as demons in many other religions, including the non-religion, Buddhism, where the advice is often to invite them in until they go away. But maybe these were other kinds of demons. Not the ones controlling not just you, but everything.

Sorry, I’m still in the “beyond belief” camp.

In a more recent post, Walker expresses enthusiasm for Icke’s new 24-hour international news network.

(In the video Icke says he’s crowdsourcing his new network, called The People’s Voice, and, in fact, he’s raised over £300,000.)

Well, we all have our flaws. I enjoy truly crappy Sci-Fi original movies like Sharknado. Alice Walker believes in shape-shifting lizard people who rule the world and oppress black people.

It’s always something…

Reptoids Among Us

Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013

I assume you’ve heard about the shape-shifting reptoids that, according to David Icke, rule our world.

What you may not have heard was that Icke was accused of antisemitism by the Canadian Jewish Congress, who allege that his reptoids are just thinly disguised Jews. Icke, for his part, asserts that no, when he says shape-shifting lizard people from outer space control the world, he means shape-shifting lizard people from outer space.

So recently I got the bimonthly Angie’s List newsletter. And guess what’s on the cover?

Now you could say that artist merely draws unusually pointy people, and that it’s just a coincidence that his door-to-door reptoid looks stereotypically Jewish.

Or you could say that he’s part of the conspiracy

The Infowars Dating Service

Thursday, April 25th, 2013

No, really.

But what I want to know is: How can you be absolutely sure that they won’t set you up with a Reptoid?

(Hat tip: Dwight.)

My Review of John Dies at the End is Now Up

Monday, February 25th, 2013

Over at Locus Online.

Shoegazer Sunday: No Joy’s “Pacific Pride” (plus the Czech film Daisies)

Sunday, November 4th, 2012

Today’s dose of Shoegaze comes to you from all-girl Canadian Shoegaze duo No Joy for their song “Pacific Pride.”

Interestingly, their video seems to be taken entirely from the 1966 Czech surrealist/absurdest film Daisies, which I was previously unaware of, but which seems to have quite a cult following. It shows up on the list of 1,001 movies to see before you die (which is a pretty good list), and looking at clips, it’s tempting to say that acid arrived in Czechoslovakia a year before the Summer of Love, as it looks pretty trippy, a film where the sixties became The Sixties. It also appears to be part of the Criterion collection Eclipse Series 32: Pearls of the Czech New Wave.

I think I’m going to have to see this some time.

The whole film is available on YouTube so, hey, here it is.

Looks like you’ll need some 3D glasses for part of it…

The Annual Fark Scary Story Thread: 2012 Edition

Wednesday, October 31st, 2012

The annual Fark Scary Story Thread is up. The perfect thing to read while waiting for trick or treaters to come…in the dark…

And here are the previous Scary Story Threads:

  • 2011
  • 2010
  • 2009
  • 2008
  • 2007
  • 2006
  • 2005
  • 2004
  • Pringles White Chocolate Peppermint

    Thursday, October 25th, 2012

    “I understand what all those word mean individually, but together in the same sentence they don’t make any sense!”

    Sometimes you buy something just so that later you can prove to people it exists.

    This is one of those times.

    Feast your eyes on this:

    I thought they might be white chocolate covered Pringles. But no, they’re regular Pringles with a hint of…white chocolate peppermint. It’s actually pretty subtle. But I’m not sure I want my mass produced pressed potato chips to be “subtle.”

    If you want to try them, you should probably pick them up, as I doubt you’ll see them again after this Christmas.

    By the way, did you know that Gene Wolfe helped engineer the machine that makes Pringles? Absolutely true. He designed the part that cooks the chips.

    Halloween Horrors: Brian Visits Hell

    Sunday, October 21st, 2012

    I checked out of Family Guy when it stopped being funny, which was shortly after the OJ Simpson episode. But I must admit, this shroomed-out Brian visiting his own personal hell is nicely creepy.

    The moral: Drugs are bad, M’kay?

    Halloween Scares: Self-Mummifying Japanese Monks

    Wednesday, October 10th, 2012

    Next on our Halloween tour of scary and/or creepy phenomena: Mummies.

    Yawn. Bad Universal monster movies. How banal.

    OK. How about Japanese mummies?

    Meh. Maybe worthy of a slightly-arched eyebrow.

    OK. How about Japanese monks who mummified themselves while they were still alive?

    !!!

    I thought that would get your attention.

    Meet the Sokushinbutsu:

    Let’s go to Wikipedia, the source of all vaguely-accurate knowledge, for the grisly details of how a monk would voluntarily turn himself into a Sokushinbutsu:

    For 1,000 days the priests would eat a special diet consisting only of nuts and seeds, while taking part in a regimen of rigorous physical activity that stripped them of their body fat. They then ate only bark and roots for another thousand days and began drinking a poisonous tea made from the sap of the Urushi tree, normally used to lacquer bowls.

    This caused vomiting and a rapid loss of bodily fluids, and most importantly, it made the body too poisonous to be eaten by maggots. Finally, a self-mummifying monk would lock himself in a stone tomb barely larger than his body, where he would not move from the lotus position. His only connection to the outside world was an air tube and a bell. Each day he rang a bell to let those outside know that he was still alive.

    When the bell stopped ringing, the tube was removed and the tomb sealed. After the tomb was sealed, the other monks in the temple would wait another 1,000 days, and open the tomb to see if the mummification was successful.

    If the monk had been successfully mummified, he or she was immediately seen as a Buddha and put in the temple for viewing. Usually, though, there was just a decomposed body. Although they were not viewed as a true Buddha if they were not mummified, they were still admired and revered for their dedication and spirit.

    There are reportedly some 24 “successful” examples of monks turning themselves into mummies in northern Japan, which suggests that they were probably hundreds of unsuccessful attempts. So just imagine a starving monk, entombing himself alive, wasting away toward his inevitable demise.

    That would be one hell of a time to discover you have claustrophobia…