The Science of Iron Man, and Other Disquisitions on Comic Book-to-Movie Adaptations

May 11th, 2010

So Howard Waldrop and I reviewed Iron Man 2 over at Locus Online. (Executive Summary for the tl;dr crowd: If you liked the first one, you’ll like the second one.) But one point I touch on, albeit briefly, is the question of just how far you’re willing to embrace the looser standards of scientific plausibility used in comic books in a movie that is (technically, ostensibly) science fiction. And frequently “looser” means “non-existent.” (Read the review for thoughts on Tony Stark’s DIY basement particle accelerator.)

The ground-rule of just about any genre work, and certainly speculative fiction, is internal consistency, i.e., the story must play by the rules, and make sense according to, the work’s own internal frame of reference. If it’s a work of science fiction, you can’t just have someone breath in vacuum just because it’s convenient for your plot, you have to provide some sort of mechanism by which they breathe so as not to violate the contract with the reader that the internal consistency requirements of science fiction will be maintained.

In most superhero comics (warning: unlike Howard, I haven’t read every damn comic in the world in my youth, so pardon me if my gross generalizations are gross and general), the scientific plausibility starts out a bit more loosely defined than in your average SF (or fantasy, or horror) story, and gets looser still as time goes on and our hero goes up against an ever-expanding array of villains with ever-more exotic powers. (Never mind the ever-expanding implausibility of that many super-powered individuals running around, the vast majority of whom seem to prefer fighting crime or each other rather than getting immensely rich or setting up their own countries.)

So one superhero is implausible enough. But then you get to something like the Marvelverse, where every possible combination of overpowered individual (Mutants! Aliens! Gods! Demons!) possessing every possible superpower (Magic! Time-travel! Teleportation! Mind-reading! Super-strength! Super-healing! Super-speed!) exist cheek-by-jowl with each other, then where are you allowed to draw the line on plausibility? “I can buy a super-smart billionaire genius building a tiny fusion reactor out of scrap, but living in the same world as a Norse god? Whoa, stop the ride, I have to step off.”

This is why the most successful of the modern comic-book adaptations (Iron Man and Spider-Man both come to mind) work so hard to establish their protagonist’s connection to every-day life (even if, in Tony Stark’s case, that life is pretty freaking rarefied), because without that grounding, viewers are hard-pressed to buy the comic book elements that would seem patently absurd in a realistic movie or novel. It’s also why comic book universes tend to have a giant retcon every now and then to trim the most unlikely branches off that universe (Crisis on Infinite Earths, anyone?).

Granted, the Hollywood standards of plausibility in the average science fiction film, and the average action film (the two genres superhero films drink most deeply from) has been steadily slipping, to the extent they were ever present at all. (Though I should point out that I’m excluding deliberately insane, over the top films like Crank 2 that make no effort to be realistic.) But the race for ever-more-insane set pieces to sate ever-more-jaded tastes must eventually reach the point of diminishing returns; if everything is possible, then nothing is interesting. Which is why superheroes are driven as much by their constraints as by their powers.

Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne are the most interesting subjects for movies because they have no traditional superpowers, owing their status to supreme intelligence, personal training, technological prowess and unlimited bank accounts. By contrast, Superman is the least interesting superhero, being able to do essentially anything he wants. And the Christopher Reeve Superman where he goes back in time (because, you know, Superman simply wasn’t powerful enough already) brings up the question: Why do we care whether Superman wins or loses, since he can always go back in time whenever he wants to undo the outcome?

By these standards, a tiny fusion reactor built out of scrap only slightly strains credibility, while a prism that bends particle beams (rather than light) gets fundamental physics so fundamentally wrong that it shatters it. I also think that you have to take a movie’s basic premise as a given. Now, I find it perfectly acceptable to draw your own line of personal disbelief at, or well before, miniature fusion reactors. But if so, why would you see any Iron Man movie in the first place?

Note: The Locus site is suffering from the side effects of switching to Word Press as their blog engine, so the review may not be available, or the have the link for it show up on the front page, at any given moment.

The Houston Texans are the Youngest Team in the NFL

May 6th, 2010

Here’s an interesting breakdown of the average “adjusted” age (i.e., one that gives more weight to starters than backups, etc.) of every team in the NFL. The Texans, with an average age of 25.9 years, were the youngest team in the league. (The New England Patriots, at an average age of 28.7 years, were the oldest.) Breaking it down further, the Texans defense, at at an average age of 25.3, were the youngest defense in the league. (The Pittsburgh Steelers, at an average age of 29.2 years, just edged out the Denver Broncos (28.9) as the oldest defense.) On Offense, the Texans were the fifth youngest team, with an average age of 26.5, just slightly older than Philadelphia, Miami (both 26.1), Tampa Bay (26.2) and St. Louis (26.4). (The Patriots offense, at an average age of 29.7, more than a year older than runner-up Minnesota (28.6, probably due to a hefty assist from the Favre Factor) were the clear winners of the the NFL’s Get Off My Lawn Trophy.)

What does all this mean? Probably not a whole lot. But all other things being equal, it’s better to be young than old, and the Texans should (presumably) have a bit more headroom for getting better.

Presumably.

Iron Man 2

May 5th, 2010

Since Iron Man 2 opens this weekend, and Howard Waldrop and I will be reviewing it for Locus Online, here’s our review of the original Iron Man.

Nightmare-Inducing Communist Playground Sculptures

May 2nd, 2010

Ah, Communism! The political system of the deadly controlling the deluded and disillusioned. As the system decayed, Communism would frequently produce funhouse-mirror versions of Western goods, virtually identical except the communist versions were produced by people who didn’t care and couldn’t be fired and thus sucked liked a Communist vacuum cleaner didn’t. Take, for example, these nightmare-inducing playground sculptures from Dark Roasted Blend (and here’s pages 2 and 3). Though a few of their examples come from outside the Eastern Bloc, the vast majority hail from a land forgotten by taste, talent, and personal injury lawyers.

Well, this certainly isn’t going to encourage your children to visit the doctor:

Here’s some first class Nightmare Fuel:

No way would this sculpture be put up in a Western park without some kind of fence. “Child impaled on modern art sculpture, details at ten.”

“Mommy, can I play on the giant tarantula? Please? Pleaaaseeee?

Though they seem singularly unsuited for children, some of them are decent art sculptures in their own right. I really dig the Nightmare Bears:

This is the sort of thing Posadas would do if he were an Eastern European sculptor:

And this leather Cthulhu is awesome:

(And I’d just liked to point out that “Leather Cthulhu” is a good name for a rock band.)

Spot the Pigeon

April 30th, 2010

For a few days this week I had a wee little pigeon (probably knocked out of its nest early by the winds) puttering around the base of the pine tree in my front yard. Fortunately for the critter, its coloration was perfect to blend in. See if you can spot the pigeon:

(Bonus points for recognizing the obscure Genesis reference…)

Random Fark Image of the Day

April 30th, 2010

Thoughts on Insane Japanese Films and Some DVD Sets of Note

April 29th, 2010

I have friends who collect Criterion DVDs. However, even they, I think, will be hard-pressed to pick up Essential Art House: 50 Years of Janus Films. With a whopping 50 films (and an even-more whopping price tag of $772 through Amazon), you get a lot of classic films (The Seven Samurai, Kind Hearts and Coronets, M), so I suppose it would be a good deal if you planned on picking up all of them anyway. Until I stumbled across this, I never realized Janus FIlms distributed so much of what we regard as the essential “art house” films of the 20th Century. If they had never existed, would only hardcore film buffs know of these films, or would a we revere a completely different set of art house films that are currently obscure?

I was also fiddling with Amazon’s Carousel widget, so here it is with a bunch of other DVD sets:

Although this box set is nearly four years old, I stumbled across it when looking for information on Hausu, which looks to be a completely insane Japanese haunted house movie that’s also distributed by Janus Films. Just take a gander at this off-the-charts, blood-and-weirdness packed trailer.

I’m given to understand that, later on, one of them gets eaten by a piano.

What’s more, it’s playing here in Austin at the Alamo Ritz May 22-27th.

I hope it’s better on the Weird Japanese Cinema front than Wild Zero, which was a real disappointment.

Gene Wolfe Recovering from Heart Surgery

April 28th, 2010

A double-bypass and valve repair, according to Locus Online.. He’s evidently up and walking, and “his mind is as sharp as a tack,” which is a relief. Best wishes for a speedy recovery, Gene.

Ultra-Endurance Athletes are Insane. Literally.

April 25th, 2010

I don’t usually link to New York Times articles or pieces linked from Fark (this one on the Sports tab), but this piece on ultra-endurance champion Jure Robic is so of full crazy I had to link to it.

‘‘During race, I am going crazy, definitely,’’ he says, smiling in bemused despair. ‘‘I cannot explain why is that, but it is true.’’

The craziness is methodical, however, and Robic and his crew know its pattern by heart. Around Day 2 of a typical weeklong race, his speech goes staccato. By Day 3, he is belligerent and sometimes paranoid. His short-term memory vanishes, and he weeps uncontrollably. The last days are marked by hallucinations: bears, wolves and aliens prowl the roadside; asphalt cracks rearrange themselves into coded messages. Occasionally, Robic leaps from his bike to square off with shadowy figures that turn out to be mailboxes. In a 2004 race, he turned to see himself pursued by a howling band of black-bearded men on horseback.

‘‘Mujahedeen, shooting at me,’’ he explains. ‘‘So I ride faster.’’

It also goes into details on the unsettled science behind human endurance.

Here’s a Radiolab piece on the Robic and ultra-endurance races. (I haven’t listened to the entire thing, but flipping around it was pretty interesting, and more than a little insane.)

Not a Serious Analysis of the Texans’ 2010 Draft Choices

April 24th, 2010

Through three rounds, the Texans have selected:

  1. Cornerback Kareem Jackson of Alabama
  2. Running back Ben Tate of Auburn
  3. Defensive tackle Earl Mitchell of Arizona

I’m sure they’ll all turn out to be fine players, but a less reasonable man than myself might wonder why the Texans’ brain trust started looking at colleges for potential draftees in alphabetical order and never got past the first chapter…