Though more up Dwight’s alley than mine, I found this Onion article amusing.
And as long as we’re bashing Notre Dame, I found the image below on this Fark thread.
Those with no interest in football should know that there’s more science fiction and book geeking coming up Real Soon Now.
Texas barely wins on a (literally) last second field goal.
Either Nebraska has the best defense in the country (very possible), or UT will have real problems in the national championship game against Alabama unless Colt McCoy can regain some of last year’s poise.
Texas-Nebraska is an obvious mismatch.
Going into the Big 12 Championship, one team is a reigning powerhouse with a future Hall of Fame coach not far removed from a National Championship that views the game as a stepping stone for a chance to play a powerful Florida team for another national championship. The other is a former powerhouse, fallen on hard times but on the rebound with a new coach. But everyone agrees the game will be a speedbump on the powerhouse’s way to playing in another National Championship game..
Sound familiar? It should, because it describes not only the 2009 Big 12 Championship, but also the very first Big 12 Championship in 1996. There Nebraska was the reigning powerhouse, far more dominant in the 1990s (three National Championships in the 1990s under Tom Osborne) than Texas, which has just a single National Championship under Mack Brown. (Not that we’re complaining, mind you. We’re very happy to have both it and Mack Brown.) And the Nebraska team UT will be facing Saturday has a better record (9-3) than the Longhorn team going into the 1996 game (7-4). (As an added irony, the Texas win knocked Mack Brown’s North Carolina team out of a BCS bowl.. )
All that said, Texas is still (and should be) the prohibitive favorite. Neither Cody Green nor Zac Lee seems to be as crafty or nervy a quarterback as James Brown was for Texas. And Colt McCoy is probably the best college quarterback in the country right now.
Still, the Longhorns shouldn’t get cocky. If a team coached by John Mackovic can upset a defending National Champion, anything can happen.
Texas survives a shootout against A&M. Rivalry games are frequently closer than the betting line, but Will Muschamp can’t be pleased with a 6-5 (now 6-6) team lighting up his defense for more than 500 yards. Give the Ags credit: they weren’t given a chance going in, but they made a very close game of it. They have some players, especially Jerrod Johnson at QB. But A&M simply gave Colt McCoy too much time to work his magic, and Marquis Goodwin’s 95-yard kickoff return broke the Aggie’s back.
This was only one game, but Texas can’t expect to win a National Championship with defense like that. They have to do a better job against a more dangerous Nebraska team in the Big XII Championship, and then hope they don’t face another mobile quarterback in the National Championship. (Gee, I wonder who that might be?)
On the other hand, Colt McCoy only had a middling good night for him, and the Horns still put up 49 points.
You’ve got to hand it to the Aggies. They’re a young, aggressive team with some real players among their Freshmen and Sophmores. Next year they could be pretty dangerous, especially with Colt going off to whichever NFL team is smart enough to draft him. (God help him if it’s the Raiders.)
The Big XII South could be very interesting next year…
I have been known to watch football upon occasion. (I know, rooting for laundry.) Like most sports fans, I root for my hometown team, in this case Houston, and my alma mater team, the Texas Longhorns. (Who are doing very well indeed behind Colt McCoy this year. Thanks for asking.)
Of course the team I used to root for, the Houston Oilers, doesn’t exist anymore. The Oilers were a hard-nose, blue-collar team whose misfortune it was to have their heyday (late 70s/early-80s) during the reign of another hard-nose, blue-collar team in their division, the Pittsburg Steelers, who would win four Superbowls while the Oilers won squat. And the reason the Oilers never won anything, or made it to the Superbowl is (at least we bitter ex-Oilers fans like to think) due to owner Bud Adams.
After firing the winningest coach in team history and trading football legend Earl Campbell to New Orleans for a sack of doorknobs, Bud wasn’t done tormenting Houston football fans. After getting Houston taxpayers to pony up $67 million for upgrades to the Astrodome, Adams turned around and said that wasn’t enough, and Houston had to build a new football stadium for him. Houston told him where he could stick it. So Adams took his team (and carpetbag) away to Tennessee, where they became the Titans. (Or, as we in Texas like to call them, the Tennessee Traitors). The Titans promptly got to the Superbowl…and lost. The old Bud Adams magic was still alive!
In fact, I wrote a little song to celebrate the occasion:
Come listen to a story about a man named Bud
Orneriest football owner ever chewed a wad of cud
His Houston Oilers were as bad as they could be
So he loaded up the team and moved out to Tennessee
Nashville that is. Country music. Grand Ole Opry.
In their Houston days the Oilers were a disgrace
When they weren’t breakin’ hearts they just stunk up the place
To con the Nashville rubes, Bud had to change his game
So he sucked in his pride, and gave them a new name.
Titans, that is. Evil giants. Greek myth.
Well come Y2K, and they’re in the title game.
Reverting back to form, the Ex-Oilers come up lame.
Hey Bud, the Superbowl just ain’t where you oughta be!
Next season they’ll be back to mediocrity.
Don’t come back now, ya hear?
Not long after this, Houston gets an expansion franchise, the Houston Texans, who proceed to suck much of the decade. (They’re in the same division as the Indianapolis Colts, the Jacksonville jaguars and, yes, the Titans.) However, after ditching the inconsistent David Carr for Matt Schaub, and firing Dom Capers and putting Gary Kubiak in his place as coach, the Texans have been on the upswing. Meanwhile, the Titans went from having the best record in 2008 to starting the season with six straight losses in 2009.
Which brings up to the present, when the Texans will be playing the Titans on Monday Night Football. This is by no means a slam dunk (pardon the mixed-sport metaphors) for the Texans, since the Titans have won three straight after putting former Longhorn Vince Young in as quarterback. (“Hey, our team is winless and we have an inhumanly gifted quarterback sitting on the bench. Do you think we should play him?”)
It should be a great game…and another chance to humiliate Bud Adams. (Once he gets over the sting of that $250,000 fine for, ah, digital manipulation.)
And Nashville? Bud is YOUR problem now. No backsies…