I don’t tend to buy frozen pizza (for a lot of reasons), but I did recently pick up a Home Run Inn Meat Lovers Pizza at Central Market when I went there for salsa fixing. Though it does cost more than average (about $7.50), it turned out to be significantly better than your average DiGiorno’s/Red Baron/Tombstone “premium” meat pizza, with both better meat and a better crust. Anyway, if you’re near a Central Market and have a hankering for pizza, you could do worse…
A Frozen Pizza Home Run
November 7th, 2011Edison’s Frankenstein
November 5th, 2011Did you know that the first first filmed version of Frankenstein was not the James Whale movie, but a 1910 Edison studios film?
Though full of the hokey melodramatic tropes of early silent cinema, it actually follows the basic plot of the Mary Shelly novel more closely than the Whale movie, at least up until the happy (and vaguely slipstreamy) ending. The creation of the monster scene uses not one, but two special effects: running the film backwards and at high speed. I’m sure it blew people’s minds in 1910.
Random Internet Images That Amuse Me
November 4th, 2011Hephaestus Books: A Different Kind of Ripoff
November 4th, 2011Jerry Pournelle and C. J. Cherryh have been among the first to report on the nefarious activities of Hephaestus Books, which seems to be publishing omnibus editions of hundreds or thousands of books which they haven’t bothered to obtain the rights for. I say “seems,” because a closer look shows that Hephaestus Books does seen to be ripping people off, but it’s the readers and buyers rather than the authors.
Since Jerry helped sound the alarm, let’s take this collection, titled Novels By Jerry Pournelle, including: The Legacy Of Heorot, The Mote In God’s Eye, The Gripping Hand, Footfall, Inferno (novel), Fallen Angels … Starswarm, Higher Education over at Amazon as an example. The text description reads:
Hephaestus Books represents a new publishing paradigm, allowing disparate content sources to be curated into cohesive, relevant, and informative books. To date, this content has been curated from Wikipedia articles and images under Creative Commons licensing, although as Hephaestus Books continues to increase in scope and dimension, more licensed and public domain content is being added. We believe books such as this represent a new and exciting lexicon in the sharing of human knowledge. This particular book is a collaboration focused on Novels by Jerry Pournelle.
The fact that the book length is a mere 82 pages should confirm that all the novels listed in the title are not in fact present.
So: They’re content scrapers, grabbing anything they can grab off the Internet (it looks like most of their content is scrapped off Wikipedia) and slapping it between two covers as a print-on-demand (POD) book. This is bad and dubiously legal practice, but their primary sin seems to be false advertising, since their “book” titles deceptively suggest that you’re buying an omnibus edition of fiction rather than a collection of stuff you can read for free on the Internet.
Personally, if I were in charge of Amazon or Barnes & Noble, I’d pull all the Hephaestus Books titles due to their dishonest tactics and customer dissatisfaction anyway. (I don’t think even my insane Jack Vance collector friends will be picking up this.) But from my cursory glance, it’s readers, not authors, who are the ones being ripped off.
(Hat tip: Instapundit.)
The Annual Fark Scary Story Thread
October 30th, 2011Once of the great things about Halloween is the annual Fark Scary Story thread, which is now up for this year. Here are links to the last seven years of Scary Story threads:
And now some gratuitous cheesecake pictures of Sybil Danning:




Let’s face it: Sybil Danning looks really good holding a gun…
Halloween Scares: Black Eyed Kids
October 26th, 2011So, vampires are so last year, and scary bunnies and goatmen don’t do it for you? Are you looking for a new urban legend to unnecessarily scare yourself silly with for the Halloween season?
How about Black Eyed Kids?
No, it’s not The Black Eyed Peas: The Next Generation (which would, let’s face it, be scary enough on its own). It’s kids/teenagers with all black eyes, with no iris or whites, asking to be let into your car or house, and whose mere presence instantly fills you with terror and dread.
However, unlike most creepy pasta and/or urban legends, this one actually has an identifiable origin, namely Abilene reporter Brian Bethel, who related his encounter thusly with two of them asking for a ride:
“C’mon, mister. Let us in. We can’t get in your car until you do, you know,” the spokesman said soothingly. “Just let us in, and we’ll be gone before you know it. We’ll go to our mother’s house.”
We locked eyes.
To my horror, I realized my hand had strayed toward the door lock (which was engaged) and was in the process of opening it. I pulled it away, probably a bit too violently. But it did force me to look away from the children.
I turned back. “Er … Um …,” I offered weakly and then my mind snapped into sharp focus.
For the first time, I noticed their eyes.
They were coal black. No pupil. No iris. Just two staring orbs reflecting the red and white light of the marquee.
Creepy enough for you? The fact that Mr. Bethel posted this to a “ghost-discuss” list, and that he had previously described a childhood encounter with evil muppets, might make you take his story with a grain of salt.
However, since that original sighting (which predates the black-eyed kid shown in the Japanese horror film Ju-on (The Grudge)) there
For extra grins, here’s the black eyed kids/alien abduction cross-over theory.
Now you’ll have to excuse me. There’s someone knocking on my door…
Scary Halloween Videos: Abandoned Insane Asylums
October 25th, 2011I’ve been looking for some scary videos on YouTube, and honestly, the most popular “paranormal” videos there are pretty embarrassingly lame. “Ah! A guy in eyeshadow steps out of the dark! It’s a ghost!”
Much creepier, to my mind, are the video of abandoned mental hospitals and insane asylums filmed by various urban spelunkers over the years. Most were pretty depressing places in the first place, so they’re doubly creepy and depressing at night compared to regular abandoned buildings. Here’s a sampler of a few videos I found.
A short video of an abandoned insane asylum in Maryland:
A longer video from the same asylum, with some paranormal creepiness near the end:
From Albuquerque’s abandoned insane asylum, seen in daylight:
The videos I’ve seen from San Antonio’s abandoned asylum have all been either crappy or still images, but this one from the abandoned Boys Home isn’t bad, though too long and also in daylight:
This appears to be the segment of a TV show called Scariest Places on Earth on Dixmont Insane Asylum in Pennsylvania. Full of both horrific history and cheestastic reality TV edited to hype the paranormal angle. Evidently being on a paranormal reality TV show requires subnormal intelligence. And voiceovers from the psychic in Poltergeist? Really, ABC Family?
Warning: Teenagers. Fortunately this bunch exploring the Downey Insane Asylum in California are merely teenage stupid and not reality show stupid (though sadly, this does extend to their editing choices). And the night vision lens does make their eyes look nicely creepy.
A different approach, for this mini-documentary on the Northville Regional Psychiatric Hospital in Michigan:
Here’s another longer video:
Seems like there’s a lot of videos on the place.
I wonder how many places there are like this abandoned in Michigan. Probably lots.
Finally, this abandoned church and school In Gary, Indiana is more sad than scary:
I may have to do a separate post on abandoned theme parks…
A Detailed and Possibly Tedious Account of Adding a New Bookcase To My Library
October 24th, 2011One problem with having a large library that you’re always adding books to is keeping up with shelving them in the proper place.
I have all my fiction shelved in alphabetical order by author within three form-factors (hardbacks, trade paperbacks, and mass market paperbacks). I leave “expansion joint,” i.e., empty slots in which to insert new acquisitions, on every shelf, but eventually they fill up and it’s time to add a new bookcase. Since they are shelved alphabetically by author, I can’t just stick the books randomly onto the new bookcase if I want to find them.
When I started out collecting books, I got the regular crappy 5-high, assemble-them-yourself particle board bookcases they sold at Target, just like every other college student. (Back then, anyway. I wonder if today’s college students use bookshelves at all.) Later, when I was a little less broke, I had some real 5-high wooden bookcases made for me (one fixed shelf in the middle, three adjustable shelves plus the base) to match the existing particle board shelves. later, when I started running out of room, I started getting 8-high bookcases (one fixed shelf, six adjustable shelves plus the base) to maximize the amount of storage space. in fact, when I moved into my new house, I immediately had three more 8-high built for me (along with a custom paperback shelf) to store books I hadn’t had room to put out in my apartment.
Because of the way the room is laid out, I’ve been replacing the five-high bookcases in my living room/library with the eight-high bookcases, and moving the five-highs back into a sort of den (with a fireplace, a futon, a coffee table, an old sofa for my dog, and the rest of the fiction bookshelves). But to do everything the “proper” way is a fairly labor intensive process:
- Order the bookshelf
- Take delivery
- Stain the bookshelf (and this step and the next one might take several months, depending on whether I think it’s too hot to mess with, since I do it out in my garage)
- Varnish the bookshelf (actually, polyurethane)
- Remove all the books off the 5-high shelf (in this case, it was in the middles of the S section)
- Dust the 5-high shelf with a dust mop
- Dust/polish the 5-high with lemon Pledge
- Move the shelf back into the den, where it now falls in the middle of the V section
- Move about two and a half shelves of books over from the V-W section. This is how much I need to move to incorporate all the proofs I’ve added to the library after clearing out the Nova Express review pile.
- Stock the remaining shelves from the V section in the living room.
- Now move books over from the next shelf.
- Repeat until you reach the books removed from the 5-high and stacked on the table, at which point you incorporate those.
- Keep in mind that every time I clear a shelf of books, I:
- Take a dust mop to the shelf
- Dust the shelf with lemon Pledge
- Flip the adjustable shelf over to prevent bowing
- Let the shelf dry at least an hour or two; and
- Add expansion joints (i.e., empty spots) when you move books back onto the shelves. There are also a few odd cases, where I leave additional spots if I think I’ll be adding be adding more than a book or two to that shelf, such as books I’ve already ordered, very prolific writers I pick up everything by (Joe R. Lansdale and Charles Stross both come to mind), or series gaps I know I want to fill (I’m missing some of the Datlow/Windling Year’s Best volumes).
- Continue the book-moving process over a course of weeks until all the shelves have been cleaned and stocked.
This is not a difficult process, but it is time-consuming (and by now I’m mostly done). But it prevents heartache in the long-run, because my collection remains alphabetized, the shelves clean and in good shape. And I can always lay my hands on a book when I need to. (There was another bookseller/collector who packed up his library willy-nilly, depending on what fitted in the box, and it was very frustrating experience trying to pull things from those myriad boxes when he wanted to sell something to me…)
Cartoons for the Halloween Season: Betty Boop in Minnie the Moocher
October 24th, 2011Cab Calloway, Betty Boop and dancing skeletons. What more could you ask for?







