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Ed Bryant Could Use Your Help
September 12th, 2011“I too have an ass sword!”
September 11th, 2011RoboGeisha
Director: Noboru Iguchi
Writer: Noboru Iguchi (screenplay)
Starring: Asami, Yoshihiro Nishimura and Naoto Takenaka
Once again Japan brings us a classic piece of the “What the Fuck?” cinema at which they excel. Noboru Iguchi, the director of The Machine Girl, which was your typical “girl picked on and humiliated, girl gets machine gun grafted onto her arm, girl racks up serious body count” film, is back with a film that makes that one look like an exercise in good taste and restraint.
After an insane beginning of RoboGeisha-on-RoboGisha combat, we jump back to a flashback that, it turns out, will take up the entire rest of the movie. Two sisters, one older, pretty, and working as a geisha, the other younger-and-even-prettier-but-we’re-going-to-pretend-she’s-homely-for-the-sake-of-the-plot who gets bossed around, exhibit the usual sibling rivalry. Then they get kidnapped by your generic evil corporation and are forced to train as geisha assassins. Oh, as you just might possibly be able to surmise from the title, they sport all sorts of deadly robotic devices implanted in their body.
The biggest difference between this and Machine Girl is that that film was (with a few allowances) a reasonably realistic, conventional film until it went all machine gunny in the third act, while RoboGeisha is pure WTF from start to finish. Just in case you were worried that RoboGeisha would be a deep, introspective examination of sibling rivalry in modern Japan, the shurukens flying out of the female penis goblin guard’s asses and the circular saw blade popping out of another robogeisha’s mouth should convince you of the film’s pure over-the-top, mutant cinema goodness. Swords pop out of deeply unlikely places (as in the quote in the title), breasts sport guns, shattered buildings bleed digital blood (albeit more convincing than the digital blood than found in Ugandan action films) and a cyborg geisha tank takes on a giant robot. Add off-balance dubbing, the hilariously maudlin sister story, and a ridiculously small cast (the same guy gets killed at least four or five times), and you have a strong candidate to show at your next party.
Here’s the trailer, which pretty much puts all the virtues of the film (such as they are) on display:
And it beats the hell out of Wild Zero or Kibakichi.
Texans Slaughter Colts 34-7
September 11th, 2011The Texans managed to put together the most dominant half of professional football I’ve ever seen by going up 34-0 in the first half against the Manning-less Colts. The Texans dominated on both sides of the line, Mario Williams got his first sack as an outside linebacker and Ben Tate got his first career touchdown. And Jacoby Jones took a punt return 79 yards for a touchdown, turning what was a rout into a full-blown slaughter.
Alas, there was also the second half, where conservative play-calling and some bone-headed turnovers let the Colts get on the board and prevented the Texans from padding their lead.
Matt Schaub was 17 of 24 with 220 yards. The two interceptions are slightly deceptive, as the first one was a freak tip off Andrew Johnson’s fingers.
I expected the Texans to win this game, but I didn’t expect it to be a laugher. The offense is still plenty potent, but the defense is radically improved from last year’s league-worst unit. Tate’s 100+ yard game proves that last year wasn’t a fluke, and yes, the offensive line is that good at opening holes, with or without Arian Foster (who sat out the game with a tweaked hamstring).
if they can harness the intensity of the first half and avoid the miscues of the second, not only will they make the playoffs (especially in a weekend AFC South), they should actually be able to make some noise there. Of course, Texan fans felt that after last year’s opening day victory over the Colts, so we’ll see how they do against a murder’s row of an early schedule that has them visiting New Orleans, Pittsburgh and Baltimore in the first six weeks of the season.
But all in all, I feel very good about my bet with Dwight.
Armadillocon 2011 Photos for Friday, August 26
September 10th, 2011
Mark Finn, rocking the cutting edge of FEZ NATION!
Howard Waldrop.
Dwight Brown gets the pre-convention lunch off to his usual facepalming start. What set him off this time was Todd saying “Look! We’re haircut twinsies!”
DUFF winner David Cake.
Early Turkey Citizen Joe Pumilia.
There was a picture of William Browning Spencer, but he has evidently grown disenchanted with his own visage, and asked that it be removed..
Al Jackson. For once I snapped a picture with his eyes open. Thanks for lunch, Al!
Dwight, mournful that his mama took his Kodachrome away.
Michael Sumbera, taking a break from assembling his retail sales empire.
Aaron Allston. Generally, I only see Aaron at: A.) Cons, or B.) Indian restaurants.
James Reasoner.
John DeNardo: “You know I hate having my picture taken.” Naturally, after he said that, I’m required to take his picture several additional times.
Like this one.
And this one.
Bruce Sterling was having a garage sale of books at the con. Here he is holding aloft the (true story) Rudy Rucker books I had pulled from the pile, refusing to sell them to me. Including the copy of The 57th Franz Kafka I had given him as a gift 15 years before. “I’ve got to donate these to UT.” Thanks a lot, Bruce.
Bill Crider, reenacting a scene from Daredevil.
Bill again, now with added sight.
Stina Leicht, with her hair in the traditional Blue Con shade.
Two people, both of whom complained that I took their picture too much. You can see how well those complaints worked out for them.
Rocky Kelley, artistic dandy and man-about-town.
Jessica Reisman. The camera is set properly, it’s just that Jessica lives her entire life in soft focus. Doctors keep doing tests to determine the cause.
Jasmina Tesanovic and Bruce Sterling. “It’s a 110° out today! I’m feeling pretty darn good about my Global Warming predictions!”
Derek Johnson. You can’t see it, but just below the frame of this picture, he’s clutching a snifter of brandy with one hand and stroking a white cat with the other.
Gretchen Peterson Johnston shows that she is totally ready for the Fetish Boot Ball.
Chris Nakashima-Brown n. Brown this guy I know.
Yvonne Daily and Phil Brogden, who you may remember from such hits as “Goddamnit, Lawrence, you sure take a lot of freaking convention pictures, don’t you?”
Robert Jackson Bennett, author of the spiffy first novel Mr. Shivers, copies of which can be obtained in the usual manner.
Bradley Denton assumes the now-traditional “Oh yeah? Then I’ll take YOUR picture!” position.
Jessica Reisman Redux.
Paolo Bacigalupi and Bruce Sterling, debating whose global warming future is more wretched and dystopian.
Rich Simental.
“NEVER MIND!”
The Space Squidians, shortly after freebasing some ink.
Brad Foster, with a Hugo that might seem familiar.
“You so naughty!”
Kasey Lansdale, mooning over Mark Finn. (I warned you, Finn! I said UNMARKED twenties!)
Scott Cupp, James Reasoner and Joe R. Lansdale, talking about F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, and why you can’t get good belt onions anymore.
Ben Yalow.
It was….the unnameable.
Predict the Houston Texans Record for the 2011 Season
September 8th, 2011We interrupt your usual SF geeking to note the arrival of the NFL Season, starting tonight. As such, it’s time to vote for your predictions on the Texans season. With the return #1 rushing back, #1 receiver, and what should by all accounts be a vastly improved defense over last year’s abysmal effort, I think the Texans are primed for a run to the playoffs (and to win me $100). So vote on what you think this year’s regular season record will be.
David Brin Plays the Harmonica
September 7th, 2011One final bit from Worldcon. Here’s an audio recording of David Brin playing “Camptown Races” on the harmonica on the shuttle bus from the 2011 Worldcon to the Reno/Tahoe Airport. (I’ve chopped off a couple of false starts on other songs before this.) There’s a little flutter toward the middle, but I think he does a pretty credible job…
So This Is What They Mean By “Spreading Like Wildfire”
September 7th, 2011Scary.
(Hat tip: Ace of Spades.)
Central Texas Fire Updates (with video)
September 4th, 2011Some YouTube videos I grabbed:
Removed the KVUE video embed because it’s farking up my page loads.
Keep safe…
10 PM Update: 25 homes lost in Steiner Ranch.
10:55 PM Update: Parts of Dripping Springs being told to evacuate.
More video, this time from the Southeast corner of the Griffith League Scout Ranch property near Lost Pines:
Also got an email back from Michael Moorcock, who says he’s OK, and that they haven’t been asked to evacuate yet.
Steiner Ranch Evacuated Due to Fire Hazard
September 4th, 2011So I’m hearing. Drought + high winds = fire hazard.
And Steiner Ranch is only about 15 miles from here. On the other hand, the land around here is flat rather than the hill country arroyos that make fires easier to start and harder to fight. And I have managed to keep the overwhelming majority of my lawn alive.
Be safe, everyone. And if you haven’t done it before, now might be a good time to figure out what you need for a “bugout bag” and make sure you have at least one fire extinguisher in your house…