Crank Back Up Those Denver Airport Conspiracy Theories!

Of all the wacky modern-day conspiracy theories, I must admit that the one I’ve enjoyed most (next to the shape-shifting reptoids, with which it overlaps) is the one about aliens under the Denver airport. Weird-ass murals, Masonic symbols, out-of-control baggage handling systems, airport runways laid out in a swastika, and decapitated Indians, just for starters. And those are the parts that are all more or less real.

If you haven’t seen those murals (some of which have since been painted over), they really are something to behold. I mean, what air traveler wouldn’t want to be confronted with a giant gas-masked Skeletor standing in an arc of weeping women holding dead babies?

I had also forgotten that the designer of the giant blue demonic horse outside the airport had been killed when part of it fell on him.

But more entertaining than the real weirdness are the truly whacked-out conspiracy theories about the place. You know, the ones with the six underground levels with holding pens for the alien Grays to ship off people to their secret concentration camps on Mars. The great thing about it is the ease with which it’s tied into the other wacky conspiracies about underground alien bases, like the ones supposedly at Dulce, Roswell, etc. You know, the sort of mind-boggling, over-the-top theories that make Bob Lazar’s stories of alien technology at Area 51 and how Grays will use people as “containers for souls” look like models of plausibility by comparison.

Good times, good times.

Well, now comes word that they’ve erected a 26 tall statue of Anubis, the Egyptian god of the dead, outside it. Supposedly they did this to promote a King Tut exhibit.

Personally, I think they’re just taunting Alex Jones…

About Lawrence Person

Lawrence Person is a science fiction writer living in Austin, Texas. His short fiction has appeared in Asimov's, Analog, Postscripts, Jim Baen's Universe, Fear, and several anthologies. He also edits the Hugo-nominated SF critical magazine Nova Express, and runs the Turkey City Writer's Workshop. His non-fiction has appeared in National Review, Reason, Whole Earth Review, The Freeman, The World & I, Science Fiction Eye, The New York Review of Science Fiction, and Slashdot.org. He owns such a large library (mostly science fiction first editions) he had to buy a two-story house to put it in, and then adopted a golden retriever to drag him out of his house on a regular basis. He also makes a mean batch of salsa.
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5 Responses to Crank Back Up Those Denver Airport Conspiracy Theories!

  1. I personally feel it is all a huge cover up.

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  4. Hello Lawrenceperson,
    This question may be a little off-topic, i live in denver, and my apartment is in the basement level of the 3 story building.One side of my bedroom is a large sliding glass window.Its gets really hot in the bedroom early morning even though if i walk outside its nice and cool.I wake up every morning sweating cuz of the heat. Why is it like that, usually basement is suppose to be cool, right?i have to crank down my AC every morning.Does it got soemthing to do with the glass window???
    Kindest Regards

  5. Burt says:

    I fell asleep in the Dever airport while visiting my family, and had an erotic vision that Hitler came to me and seduced and then killed. All while I was at the Denver airport…..true story.

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