A while back I sold my story “The Dog Parade” to Postscripts, the magazine-turned-anthology series from PS Publishing. (I have some previous installments available for sale through Lame Excuse Books.) They just announced the table of contents for Postscripts 24/25, and “The Dog Parade” in among them. Also in that issue are Ken MacLeod, Rudy Rucker, Paul Di Filippo, and Jay Lake, among many, many other, so my story will have some mighty fine company.
Dear Austin Restaurateurs: What the hell is wrong with you?
July 7th, 2010So Dwight and I were discussing possible venues for the next Saturday Dining Conspiracy. Having been burned in the past by places that closed before we got there, we always try to call ahead to make sure they’re open. Today showed at least one obstacle standing between several Austin Restaurateurs and profit: their inability to competently answer a phone call.
- First a call to a place called Flamin’ Grill & Kebob House (which I had a coupon for) in Round Rock: “Hello?” answers the voice at the other in a dead monotone. No “Flamin’ Grill and Kebob House, how can I help you?” Not even “Flaimin Grill.” So I ask if this is, in fact, “Flamin’ Grill & Kebob House.” “Yes,” he answered in a voice that clearly implied I was imposing on his time, and that he would prefer to be anywhere else at that moment rather than answering a restaurant’s phone. With that kind of attitude toward the business, we crossed them off the list.
- Next up: Ilse’s Kitchen, a German Restaurant out in Spicewood. The phone rings ten times (despite it being within the specified business hours), then something like a fax machine pics up, evidently waiting for you to start a fax; no message, no beep, nothing.
- Third try: Your Mom’s Burger Bar. Calling the number listed on their website (474-MOMS) brings up a message saying that “this NXP semiconductor number is no longer in service.”.
Look, I know that telephones are musty old 20th century technology, but is it too much to ask that: A.) The phone number on your own website is correct, and that B.) You answer it when it rings in a (at the minimum) polite manner? Is that just too much to ask of you?
Ansible 276 is Up
July 1st, 2010This Year’s Bulwer-Lytton Contest “Winners”
June 30th, 2010The gratifyingly horrible winners can be found here.
I’ve won Dishonorable Mention three or four times in the past, but haven’t been submitting the last couple of years. I’ll try to rectify that next year.
And here, for a defense of the career of Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron of Knebworth, is Jess Nevins.
So I Need to Drink MORE Diet Dr Pepper?
June 28th, 2010According to this study, people should consume 500 mg of caffeine a day (which works out to about five cups of coffee a day) to help ward off Alzheimer’s.
My caffeine delivery vehicle of choice is Diet Dr Pepper, which contains (according to this chart) 41 mg of caffeine. Now I’m clearly walking in the realm of the “caffeine achiever,” as I regularly down 6-7 cans of Diet Dr Pepper a day. However, by this new measure, I’m not getting enough caffeine, and should be downing a minimum of 12 cans a day.
I’m willing to give it a try, but I’m not sure I can do that without acting like this guy:
ApolloCon 2010 Pictures
June 27th, 2010Some pictures from the 2010 ApolloCon in Houston, just concluded today:
The lovely and talented Stina Leicht, celebrating her forthcoming novel by going blue in both ocular and follicular realms.
Gabrielle Faust, putting on her best “Who, me?” expression.
The dealer’s room. Neither Willie nor myself dealt there this year, meaning Edge Books was the only real bookdealer there this year.
SF Signal’s John DeNardo. I think the smug was entirely unintentional.
Scott Cupp, no doubt contemplating some book he’s owned, or will soon own, both of which are extremely target-rich environments.
GOH Catherine Asaro. This photo doesn’t show her high-heels. Without them, she’s actually only 3’6″.
Karen Burnham, searching her tattoos for the identity of the killer she’s hunting.
A fairly interesting tabletop boardgame featuring smooth pucks that you flicked to knock out your opponent’s pucks, sort of a cross between marbles and shuffleboard, except there are some screws around the circle in the center that you can bounce the pucks off of and which provide something of an obstacle. The name was “crocsomething,” but not crocodile. Please note that searching for “game” and “screw” is probably not something you should do at work.
Updated to add: The game is called “crokinole”.
Clockwise from lower left: Judy Crider, Lou Antonelli, Bill Crider, Scott Cupp. I think we were talking about bad movies yet again.
A pair of con-goers decked out to the nines in Steampunk attire. This takes an extraordinary amount of dedication. In Texas. In summer. Wait, did I say “dedication”? I meant “complete insanity.”
The Shrine O Dolls found at the “in-room convention party.” Sadly, there were no book dealers there either…
Toy Wire
June 22nd, 2010Worst. Song. Ever.
June 22nd, 2010So a while back, some scientists took a survey to determine the most and least popular musical elements ever. From the survey, they then produced the Most and Least Wanted Songs ever. The Most Wanted Song sounds like many an insipid Oscar nominee for Best Song.
The Least Wanted Song combines all the least popular elements into a twenty-two minute long concoction of cowboy poetry, bad rap, bad opera, tuba, bagpipes, 8-bit bleeps, and a repeating children’s choir celebrating every holiday with the exact same tune. It’s not the worst song ever (LARD’s “I Am Your Clock” still gets my vote for that), but it’s so weird that it’s actually pretty funny. Here are all three parts in their dubious glory.
It’s oddly fascinating, but I don’t think it’s going to end up on my iPod anytime soon…
Hat tip: Karl, who points out (correctly) that it’s frequently much more pleasant than much of Hidden Agenda.
Jonah Hex Review Now Up
June 21st, 2010Over at Locus Online. Howard and I agree that it was better than Wicker Man.
Taking a look at the current movie top ten, the only thing I would say Jonah Hex looks clearly superior to is…Marmaduke.
I can see the poster now: BETTER THAN MARMADUKE AND WICKER MAN! That should pull the crowds in…
Books Read: Eric Frank Russell’s Wasp
June 20th, 2010Eric Frank Russell
Wasp
Despite being very obviously dated (the “aliens” in the book talk and act exactly like New Yorkers in the 1940s, and the agents of the evil alien government act exactly like Nazis), the book itself is still quite a bit of fun. It depicts the efforts of a single disguised human agent to destabilize an entire alien planet in preparation for an invasion. Anachronisms aside, this is a swift-moving novel that holds your attention, and if you’re looking for something short, old-fashioned and engrossing, this admirably fits the bill.