Archive for November, 2009
More pictures from RoadRich’s move
Monday, November 16th, 2009Books I added to my library this week
Sunday, November 15th, 2009And now some book geeking, for those interested in same.
All first edition hardbacks:
- Howard, Robert E. Conan the Barbarian. Gnome Press, 1954. Fine copy in a Fine- dj with very slight fading to spine. Bought from a book dealer off the Internet.
- King, Stephen. Under the Dome. Simon & Schuster, 2009. Signed/limited edition (which came out just before the trade), one of reportedly 1,500 copies signed by King, a Fine copy in a Fine dust jacket, with limited edition trading cards, a belly band, better paper than the trade edition, and full-color maps on the endpapers. Bought pre-publication from the publisher.
- Lansdale, Joe R. Vanilla Ride. Random House, 2009. The latest Hap & Leonard novel. Would have bought a copy off Joe at Armadillocon, but all he had were second printings. From Half Price Books.
- Moorcock, Michael. The Opium General. Harrap, 1984. A Fine copy in a Fine dust jacket. From Half Price Books. Formerly Scott Cupp’s copy.
Handy Moving Tips
Sunday, November 15th, 2009During the course of moving all one’s worldly possessions from one location to another, one may encounter certain problems. Among these problems may be: What do I do about this 200-pound stacked washer dryer unit that I have located in my second story apartment up two flights of stairs? As I have recent first-hand experience with this very issue, I thought I would use my hard-won knowledge to elucidate the most preferable options for moving a 200-pound stacked washer dryer (henceforth, “the unit”) .
Therefore, consider the following options, listed in their order of desirability:
- Sell the unit to someone who will come around with several burly men to move it out of your apartment.
- Pay professional movers to move all your possessions, starting with the unit.
- Sell the unit to the people who will be taking your place in the apartment.
- Sell the unit to a second-hand appliance dealer, with the proviso that he must come and get the unit with his own team of burly men.
- Save the lives of several NFL offensive linemen from a stampeding elephant, at which point they will cry “You’ve saved our lives! How can we repay you?” Then you tell them that you need them to move the unit, at which point they will bitterly realize how you have tricked them, but it will be too late.
- Leave the unit as a lovely gift to the new apartment inhabitant.
- Abandon the unit.
- Put up several signs around your apartment complex stating: “Warning! Do not steal my completely unattended washer/dryer unit!”, each of which includes a map and arrows pointing to said unit, the unit itself being festooned with signs proclaiming “DON’T STEAL THIS!” Human perversity being what it is, this should guarantee that the unit will be stolen in short order.
- Do you like blowing things up? (This is a rhetorical question. If you have a Y chromosome, of course you like blowing things up. Very much.) Well, now you have a nice solid washer/dryer unit upon which to satisfy those desires. (Warning: Owner of blog disclaims any and all responsibility for an inadvertent maiming that may ensue from following this course of action. Or for that matter, advertent maiming. But neither will prevent me from posting the videos to YouTube.)
- Inform the police that the previous tenant used the unit as part of a marijuana-growing, which will force them to come out and seize the unit as evidence.
- Imagine that there are several hundred other detailed ideas for disposing of the unit listed here.
- Consider the tranquil eternity awaiting you in the sweet release of death.
- Should each and every one of these clearly superior options, for some reason, not be available to you, you may consider, strictly as a last resort, having several of your not necessarily burly friends bring over a dolly and manhandle the unit down the stairs and out to the truck. There are, however, drawbacks to this approach:
A. The possibility of immediate, painful death to someone below you should your grip slip. Gravity is a harsh mistress.
B. If you are the one situated below, in addition to the possibility of immediate, painful metal death barreling down an apartment stairway toward you, you also have joy of knowing, at the end of the day, that your shoulder will look like this:
Light Blogging, Friend Moving
Saturday, November 14th, 2009Light blogging today today while I help a friend move from Southeast Austin to less South but more East Austin.
Q: Isn’t your blogging usually light every day?
A: Quiet, you! No one likes a smart ass.
Q: If no one likes a smart ass, why on earth would anyone ever read your blog?
A: Good point.
Happy Friday the 13th!
Friday, November 13th, 2009Today’s Magic Word: Triskaidekaphobia
The Economics of Writing (sucks)
Thursday, November 12th, 2009John Scalzi on a writer’s income, or rather lack thereof.
Most of these are more true than not. I’m probably in a better position than most, because:
- I have a day job, and have had a day job of one sort or another (with occasional gaps as long as nine months) for the entirety of my adult life.
- I’m a cheap bastard. Save my bookshelves, just about every piece of furniture I’ve added to my house was someone else’s castoff, so my house resembles that distinctive decorating style known as “Early College Student.” My TV is an old non-HD hand-me-down. My phone is the cheapest piece-of-crap Verizon had five years ago (and I’ve since replaced it with a used copy of the same model bought cheap off eBay); I suspect Fisher-Price now sells a phone with more functions. It only took me five years to decide that I could finally afford to buy a $10 spoon rest. (You get the idea.)
- I’m paranoid enough to always keep a good chunk of money in the bank for emergencies. (That’s also why I paid off all the bills I wracked up in my 20s in my early 30s.) Given the additional uncertainties here in the era of Hope and Change, I’ve recently doubled that amount. As former Intel Chairman Andy Grove was wont to say, “Only the paranoid survive.”
I would mention that my health has generally been pretty robust (certainly nothing like the host of maladies that, say, poor George Alec Effinger suffered), but that’s just asking The Giant Frying Pan of Fate to whack you upside the head for tempting it so. So (*cough*) I guess (*wheeze*) I won’t. (*Uh-oh*.)
Anyway, I’m doing a lot better than some, but I’m always looking out for ways to add to my financial cushion, the better to keep the wolves a few steps further from my door. A working spouse would be nice. If you’re an attractive single female, the line forms to the right. (No shoving and, as always, please, no wagering.)
By the way, on a completely unrelated note, I’ve added a Paypal donation button to this page…
Protip: Drive-bys
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009If you’re going to conduct a drive-by shooting, roll down the window first.
It didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to crack this case…
(Hat tip: Bill Crider. )
Dreams (Anxious and Otherwise)
Tuesday, November 10th, 2009I find it interesting that anxiety dreams tends to manifest themselves in recurring situations that never actually happened to me.
For example, there’s that classic “having to take a test you haven’t studied for” dreams which, like probably just about everyone else on the planet, I used to have. (Usually I did really well on tests, even if I hadn’t studied for them.) Frequently I was vaguely aware that I hadn’t attended the class for the entire semester and finals were coming up. I even had anxiety dreams about high school long after I graduated college. I haven’t had those for a while, and the last few I had I remembered thinking “Wait, I’ve graduated college. I don’t need to take a high school class.”
Speaking of high school, there’s the one where I’m at a high school reunion or function, and I can’t find someone.
There’s that old chestnut, “I’m naked/in my underwear in public” dream.
There’s the usual “I have to pee but the toilet is broken/missing/something else” dream, which is your body telling you, yes, you do need to wake up just long enough to go pee.
Recently I’ve had another recurring favorite, anxiety over possibly missing a flight. (OK, that did happen to me once, back in 1987. Lesson: Never trust New York subway schedules.) You find yourself thinking “Wait, what time is it? Shouldn’t I already be at the airport? Why haven’t I packed anything?”
Another favorite: I’m supposed to be driving my car, but for some reason I’m in the back seat, or facing the wrong way, and the car starts slipping and sliding away and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Another auto-related favorite: I’m on a high bridge or overpass, and the freeway just ends (somehow, this never actually results in a crash).
Also automotive-related: Going back outside to find that your car has been stolen.
Another one: My apartment has been robbed. (And I’ve owned my house for just shy of five years now.) Or I catch someone breaking into my house and shoot at them, but the bullet comes out with such pitifully weak velocity that it just bounces off them.
I suspect many of the above are fairly common. But I have a few that are probably narrowly shared. I did a lot of plays in high school and was a Drama major in college, so frequently I’ll have a dream where I’m supposed to to be in a play and I haven’t learned any lines. (Strangely, these never seem to bother me particularly, as I usually end up trying to find a copy of the script to do a quick read before I go on, but I’ve never had the dream actually continue to the point I get on stage.)
Dreams, of course, are your brains garbage collection system, filing away the memories collected while you’re awake. And Sigmund Freud was full of it.
(And how’s a description of your dreams for the ultimate in self-indulgent blog posts?)
The Economics of Deadpool
Saturday, November 7th, 2009Dwight sent me this amusing analysis of the economics of the completely insane Marvel character Deadpool.
My comic geek credentials are somewhat thin (little beyond Watchman, Sandman and Those Annoying Post Brothers, and reviews of a few comics-based movies with Howard), and X-Men never struck me as particularly interesting, but I now have an urge to find and read Deadpool-related issues…
I’m an “escritor de ficção científica e uma das referências mundiais no tema”
Friday, November 6th, 2009At least according to this article, the author of which contacted me through Facebook.